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    You’ve unlocked the Restraining Order badge!

    2011 - 11.07

    FourSquare is a handy stalking tool. I can’t imagine it having any other purpose. Ostensibly, it’s a fun mobile app that a person can use to keep track of where they go and where their friends are going. I suppose it can also be used as an advertising for businesses. I, as a recovering High School Stalker as well as a collector of neckbeards, see it only as a way to know exactly where someone is at any given moment. That, frankly, is terrifying.

    I have an account. I held out for so long for exactly that reason, but gave in when I upgraded to iOS 5. I have 26 friends who more or less could follow me wherever I go, if they so chose. I could return the gesture. I know where my friends live (“Moxie Crimefighter just checked in to The Moxie Mansion! She’s the mayor!”), when they’re home, and when they’re not home.

    This is one freakin’ step away from a seriously messed up episode of Criminal Minds. A serial killer checks into his victim’s house and posts “A stupid dead girl lives here!” as a comment before bludgeoning the victim to death with her own Blackberry. For bonus points, he returns to the scene of the crime every day in order to steal the mayorship. At best, knowing when people are or aren’t home makes burglary easier.

    I know people with 2,500 “friends.” People I don’t know try to add me every day. Why would someone invite that kind of invasion? People you don’t want to see can show up anywhere you are, and it might not be coincidental.

    Obviously, my house isn’t a searchable location. My boo’s building, however, is. I spend a lot of time checked in there, and even then I’m uneasy. I could take issue with 26 people (whom he may not know) having access to information that he didn’t reveal. He says it’s no big deal, but I’m not so sure. I am also the mayor of my place of work. Anyone who wanted to follow me there, though, would be sold a pair of high-quality glasses.

    I had a friend of a friend send me a request a few weeks ago. I said yes, despite only having met him once. Within a day, he showed up to two different spots that I’d checked into. When he followed me to a third, I engaged him in conversation and he left, awkwardly. I deleted him as a contact and all is okay. It could have been much worse. That dude was probably just socially awkward. Not every person on the internet is.

    I’m just glad that 4sq wasn’t around when I was in high school. I’d be in big trouble. Natalia joked that my high school self would have had the worst intentions and very unsubtle check-ins.

    The Allegra who uses FourSquare is not someone who ought to have the privilege. Therefore, for the sake of my safety, sanity, and battery life, I’m deleting my account. Farewell, fountain of too much information. I knew ye well.